The Dream

I dreamed last night I was diagnosed with liver cancer -- it was very advanced, there was nothing anyone could do, and I had very little time left to live.

My first feelings were of anger for all the time and effort and AGONY I'd spent with breast cancer -- all the doctors' visits, tests and procedures, the surgery, chemo -- and then for this to happen.  And I was sad about the loss of time and quality of life during that time.

As my loved ones asked me what I wanted to do (before I die), I found myself desiring to enjoy the little things more.  The pungent aroma of the reddest rose. The warmth of the sun on my face. The caress of a light breeze.  Each and every moment, and all the spaces in between those moments, became precious to me.  My senses were alive like never before.

Intimate relations with my lover became more heightened with each touch.  We even (at my insistence) brought another woman into the relationship -- someone he could appreciate for her sexuality and someone I could love for her inner beauty.  [I was looking for my replacement.]

I also had a desire to serve, so serve I did.  I prepared pizzas and pizzas and pizzas and served them to patients in a cancer ward.

[and I woke up with a really big craving for (you know it) pizza...]