Who Am I?

Who am I?  Who is this person I've become?

This journey has been fraught with a multitude of twists and turns and ups and downs.  I've been forced to look deep within myself to find strength, patience, and grace.  In my darkness I realized that all of this comes from the Divine, and this relationship became stronger than ever. 

Situations arose that brought many negative and ugly aspects of  me to the surface [gosh I hope there aren't more!], and I've had to examine and deal with them.  And grow.  I'm learning to love myself in a way I never had before, even the less than perfect aspects of myself.  As a recovering perfectionist, I'm learning to embrace the imperfections -- the perfectly imperfect.  I'm learning to let go of the things [physical AND emotional] that are no longer needed.   I feel lighter, clearer and cleaner.

Relationships changed.  Some dear friends hurt me deeply.  People popped up in unexpected places and times to provide the support and guidance I needed.  Other relationships have deepened.  Those who are closest to me have watched this journey and provided so much support [you know who you are] -- you have no idea how thankful I am and how much I love you!

Who am I?  I'm a beautiful and cherished child of God in a constant state of becoming. 

Where am I going?  I'm not sure, but I know this is just the beginning of something special and wonderful!
 

The Story of the Incredible Breast

Once upon a time there was a breast, a right breast to be exact.  This particular breast was a very important, cherished part of a particular woman's body -- we'll call her Diane.  For years and years the breast was beautiful and healthy until.....

One day Diane discovered a lump in this breast.  After a multitude of tests and consultations, a bilateral mastectomy was performed.and tissue expanders were put in temporarily [to swap with implants at a later date]. 

A P.E.T. scan showed some cancer in the lymph nodes under the right arm even though 12 nodes had been removed during the surgery.   Rigorous treatment of chemotherapy and radiation therapy was performed.

And the right arm started growing.

Diane discovered an incredible lymphedema support group and started therapy with a lymphedema specialist.  And the right arm started to get back to normal.

Now, the right breast was growing, and it became very painful.  The skin around the original incision site was rough and almost black.  The bottom of the breast was extremely hot and painful to the touch.  Surgery was performed to remove lots and lots of fluid [1100 cc].

But, after the drain was removed 4 weeks later, the right breast started to grow again, and burst through the skin and started to squirt lymphatic fluid.

Another surgery was performed to remove the fluid; this time the expander was also removed.  The skin immediately started to look and feel better.

But, after the drain was removed 4 weeks later, the right breast started to grow again.

It's a seroma.  [Wikipedia has a nice explanation of a seroma [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seroma].]

This is where the story pauses, but it's far from over. The incredible right breast is doing its best.  And the incredible left breast, still with a tissue expander in it, is holding its own beautifully.