Two Years and Counting

So I just had an anniversary.  I've been a cancer survivor for two years now.  I sure don't feel like a survivor.

I'm still being ambushed by complications from the cure.  I'm bleeding every day, and have 3 more surgeries ahead of me.  I'm in pain every day.  I'm in and out of doctors' offices.  The lymphedema in my arm is constant.

I had to stop taking my hormones, and my body isn't getting the estrogen needed for a full head of [albeit still thin and fine] hair.  And the hot flashes.....


Not to mention the continually mounting medical bills.

In 2005 a dear friend of mine was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer and chose not to undergo treatment.  I'm not going to go into all the reasons that went into this decision, but I always supported it.  She passed shortly thereafter, no longer in pain.  God, I miss her.

So this is what survival feels like.  There's got to be a better way.